Category: Words

yes. we did.

holeeeshit, we did it.  NC was called for Obama !

change indeed

With the light, the shadow.

I’ve been holding off, holding back, trying not to worry (which doesn’t freaking ever create change). But I just got off a conference call, and here it is, time to worry. My house of financial/work cards, built on technology and aerospace, may have just come crashing down. One of my two major clients was laid off last week. His budget for 2009 may well have gone down with him. He’s been a client (and friend) for 5 years, I have a verbal agreement for 09, but no purchase order(contract).   The second one I just spoke to, and I can’t pin him down, though I pushed. His budget may also be gone. I got the sense that he doesn’t know, even though he played it as not-saying.
This doesn’t seem real either. 
No way. No shit.  It could all just go away huh ? Poof. Just like that. I’m actually only a little scared.  Which seems strange, like it should be greater. It’s not like I’ll likely run out and pick up new clients with decent tech budgets in this economy, and not like I’ll run out and scoop up a decent job here in the town of banking where a gazillion tech people have just been laid off. But. Whatfuckingever.  I’m sick of aerospace anyway. I knew this economic mess would affect me (though I was crossing my fingers that it would just mean less work, not none), like everyone else. 
I’m not sure what’s next.  But I’m oddly not that scared. 
Change. Is. 

It is hard to believe…

Where to begin ? It’s too much to process, I am still reeling, still unsure if it’s real. 

At the start of this year I was vowing not to vote for any more men. Watching the news coverage repeating over and over that this election is proof that *anyone* can become president of this country I mentally (only occasionally aloud) correct them. Any man. Any man can become president. 
I feel sadness that I am correcting with my mental redpen, I feel sadness that in Obama’s inspiring words about all of us working together that he names so many groups and identities… but not women. 
Its the answer spoken by young and old, rich and poor, Democrat and Republican, black, white, Latino, Asian, Native American, gay, straight, disabled and not disabled – Americans who sent a message to the world that we have never been a collection of Red States and Blue States: we are, and always will be, the United States of America.

Most of all, I feel sadness that no-one who utters the words *any one* realizes what they are saying, I seem to be the only one who hears this.

It’s become a bit of a joke around here in the past few months that I am one of the *bitter* ones so often referred to by the media.  Oh yeah, bitter.  Proudly Bitter. But that is not all. 
I am also so very very proud. 
I’ve thought often lately of my ancestors, the women who watched as black men won the right to vote with their help, who were told to wait. Again, to wait. I wondered how they felt… and now I think I know. The sadness is real, but it is trumped by pride and hope and inspiration, by humility and patience and love. Yes, I said it, the L word, really, that is what it is. 
I shifted at my own pace away from my refusal to support yet-another-man in this election. Issues of course were a part. Environment, abortion rights, Iraq, healthcare, foreign policy, the economy. But my disillusionment about the way my country works has been so great I’m not sure that issues alone would have done it. Increasingly it felt like I was lending my support to a bigfatlie by participating. This was for me a true crossroads, a choice between hope and something else. I’m not sure if that other thing was cynicism or realism, it’s the path I didn’t take so I cannot know it fully, but I felt it’s draw and I almost, almost took it.
Never. Underestimate. Hope.
My country, probably my state (still too close to call, still counting the provisional ballots, but it looks good), my city, chose Hope and Change. We chose to believe. 
I have so much more to say.  But not enough time today. Below is a picture from the night before the election. We went to see Obama speak, and wound up right in front, right next to the guys-in-suits running for something. 

I blog in my head

even though I’ve been too busy to blog for real. For example…

Here’s a way to support cool music.  Voting for #3 would be REALLY COOL !! 

There’s set of pajama’s at Target that every witch will want – day of the dead pajamas.  Target.  No kidding. Oh yeah, I got mine. 
Awhile ago I saw this thing on Bright Flames blog. Furoshiki. Google it. Talk about your huge aha moments. Screw buying more canvas bags, what witchgirl does not have a freaking STACK of sarongs ?!? They’re everywhere, they multiply at night.  And am I the only one who constantly forgets to bring a shopping bag with me ?  But I am likely to be wearing a sarong or at least a scarf. Laurels simplified version: One average sarong laid flat. Tie the corners together on the shorter sides. Use with the knowledge that you are the height of PC glamour since your shopping bag will always match your outfit. I practically received a standing ovation last night, from both the employees and fellow shoppers at my local crunchygranola yuppiehealthyfood store. 
My daughter turned 16.  Her big present was a plane ticket for her best friend from arizona.  I took them both to see Battle in Seattle. Damn was it good !  And lemme tell ya, ONE good movie can do more to raise the awareness of teenage girls than YEARS of listening to a mother’s blahblahblah, being dragged to protests, vigils, or even attending witchcamps.   Years from now I’m sure the two of them will date their raised consciousness to the night they saw this movie. They saved the movie ticket stubs, cherished relics of *that night*. Go figure. And go see it. 
I suck. But I was forgiven.  My dear friend who rarely dreams had this HUGE dream in which she saw herself with a tattooed head. She called, asked me to design it, was going to have it done starting on samhain. I tried.  I tried and tried and tried until I was massively freaked out. Technical issues (I’m better with raster than vector) aside, OMFG, she’s gonna have this tattooed on her head ?!?! No pressure there….  I haven’t given up, but I won’t have it done by samhain. 
Wired sez blogging is out anyway. Twitter, that’s what’s the cool kids use these days. I’m not so sure about that, but being a cool kid I’ll have to at least try it. 
Early voting.  I think it’s awesome n all, but enough with the pressure ! I got another email this morning (from the NC dems) asking me why I haven’t.  Creepy and intrusive that they know, are tracking and have my email addy.  And freaking annoying ! Seriously trying to guilt trip me into voting early ?  HEY.  I happen to LIKE voting on *the day*.  I like the ritual of it !  I like the stuff my daughter and I do together on *the day*, I like the conversations, I like smiling at my neighbors as we all come together no matter what our beliefs to participate.  Get off my back already !

what in the world

is going on with the reclaiming voices yahoo pipes widget thing ? I haven’t touched it, but looks like something has changed, duplicate posts ?? I’ll steal some time from somewhere to take a look.

…..

well that wasn’t too hard. looks like some folks have added a feed for comments lately. I changed the filters, might not catch every duplicate but I’ll keep an eye on it if I can. It’ll take a little bit of time for the revisions to eek out through, if you are still seeing duplicates give it a bit :)

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oh. did you think I meant I’d fixed it without creating brand new problems ? hah. silly you, technology never works that way ! now the titles are linking to the feed rather than the blogs themselves.

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alrighty now. I think it’s fixed. no really. I’m not sure who changed something, it was either blogger or yahoo (not any of our individual bloggers), but figuring that out might take more time than it did to fix it. The funny part was that of people who’ve blogged recently (the only ones that I could see without doing a while lot more work) the ONLY blogging software that was not throwing up was the one Donald uses. Why is that funny ? Cause I had to write a bunch of exceptions since he’s the only one using the default blogging software on the apple web.me.com site. If everyone used a mac the world would be a better place.