Category: Misc

Voices

My
early years are still a mystery
pages erased
by self-preservation no doubt
still
i know they mark me
color me with their darkness.
My only memory beforeage9
is of a dream
a nightmare.

My first experience with doctors of my dreaming
was at age thirteen.
Psychiatrists Neurologists Tests
making notes they never shared
hoping Id grow out of it.

Again at twentytwo
more testing, notes, drugs.
A rare form of epilepsy
causing auditory hallucinations
night terrors
dissassociative states.

I had not outgrown it.

The years that followed were close.

I met a Teacher
and then another and another
until I began to see through
the sleeping pills
the fear that had prescribed them
And began to listen
to the voices I had heard all my life.

Had I been born into another culture
this teacher taught
I might have seen what i heard
as a gift
rather than a nightmare.

Ive spent years now
tying to understand
to accept to know
I have learned to live
with them a chaotic peace
noisy crowded head.

Take

Take
my hand
Dance with me
down the winding path,
and live fully in your Life
as it unfolds.

Shed what covers you,
and I will paint your skin with dark mud,
marking you,
tracing ancient rhythms.

I will weave a crown of leaves,
and place it on your head,
If you will bow to passion.

Part your lips,
Taste the juice
of Life’s ecstatic fruit.
I will drink from you
with a Thirst you have never known.

Run with me,
Breathe in the strength of Oaks
that line this path,
and I will show you the secret of Flight.

Trust your heart,
and I will offer you mine.
Trust my heart,
and I will teach you the mystery of Courage.

What waits ahead
is the Unknown path.
Take my hand.

Samhain Dreamtime

Veils
have ever been our womonsymbol
to dance to mate to grieve to withdraw
our rites of passage, our transitions
to become the Goddess
of Moondark. of Croning. of Death.

What do you Dream when the Veil thins ?

do you hear the weeping of an ancient tree
or of the spider who’s lifework is lost

do you face the winds,
the tunnel between nightmares and death

do you know the agony of emotion
exploding into shards of color
do you bleed as they pierce your flesh

do you see the faces of your grandmothers
as they give Birth, as they die, as they discover
how many can you name
how many know your Name

do you dream the lives of others, blending your
self with their pain until you
must stand and Name yourself again
or be forever lost

Will you whisper to me your secrets?

other peoples dreams

They
come without
warning or reason,
sneaking in,
masquerading as my own.

Voices, places, people
more real than the characters that usually haunt me
who refuse to leave
the morning after.

My friend, you never spoke of this,
that night in the sweat,
when you gave me a name
and now
who can I ask ?

You taught me
not to fear, or hide, or run
but to reach, to learn, to invite
that which you called visions
and I called torture.
Our last time together
I did not know that it would be Did you?
Why didn’t you tell me?

I saw a picture the other day
taken after the medicine wheel ceremony
and before our ritual
I was standing beneath a cedar
moving windchimes with my breath
Preparing
to cast a Dianic circle
for a Shaman

I haven’t touched the pipe, I gave it away,
or spoken your name.
I honor you in small ways
the stones, directions, drums. Knowing
that soon I must
speak your name into the earth
finally
releasing you.

I felt your passing
after months of ceremony
every Tuesday night at 7:00
that failed to save you
in a dream
of course.
It was like drowning
in dry ice
and I could not hold onto you.

Take

Take
my hand
Dance with me
down the winding path,
and live fully in your Life
as it unfolds.

Shed what covers you,
and I will paint your skin with dark mud,
marking you,
tracing ancient rhythms.

I will weave a crown of leaves,
and place it on your head,
If you will bow to passion.

Part your lips,
Taste the juice
of Life’s ecstatic fruit.
I will drink from you
with a Thirst you have never known.

Run with me,
Breathe in the strength of Oaks
that line this path,
and I will show you the secret of Flight.

Trust your heart,
and I will offer you mine.
Trust my heart,
and I will teach you the mystery of Courage.

What waits ahead
is the Unknown path.
Take my hand.